The television host and polarizing procreator, has secured a $10-million insurance policy for his testicles.
Nick Cannon, a father of 12 — who notably welcomed five children with five different women in 2022 — said the valuation means he can self-proclaim the title of “Most Valuable Balls.” The designation even comes with its own trophy.
The “Wild ‘N Out” host specifically thanked personal-care company Dr. Squatch, purveyors of men’s soap, for “giving my balls the credit they deserve” and taking out an official policy through the Marsh & McLennan Agency and Momentous Insurance Brokerage.
The company said the valuation was extrapolated from Cannon’s answers on its virtual Ball Valuation Tool, which assessed the gonads’ “size, favorite features and bedroom maneuvers.” (A fine-print disclaimer clarified that the quiz was “in no way scientific.” One scientific fact: Mere mortals who take the quiz likely will be encouraged to buy soap)
The assessment led to the establishment of a substantial insurance policy, executed through Momentous Insurance Brokerage’s Marsh & McLennan Agency LLC (MMA).
Addressing the public with his characteristic humor, Cannon stated, “Haters say it’s time for me to stop having kids and put this super sperm to rest, but I’m doubling down on these valuable balls and my future kids.”
He expressed gratitude to Dr. Squatch for providing the necessary protection to maintain his growing family.
Nick Cannon also used the opportunity to promote Dr. Squatch’s new Ball Care products, urging others to consider similar protection: “Don’t go another day without protecting and caring for your most valuable assets with Ball-to-Ball Coverage through Dr. Squatch’s new Ball Care products,” his statement closed.
Right now the narrative is, ‘He has a bunch of kids,’” he said in 2023. “But I’m really at a place now where I don’t care what people know. I’d rather just operate. It’s more about really being a good person instead of telling people you’re a good person.”
Culled from Los Angeles Times