7 Major signs he’s actually not that into you and you need to stop wasting your time

It’s easy for us to brush off warning signs and make excuses for others that treat us poorly, especially in relationships. We sometimes allow the people in our lives to not treat us with the level of respect and love that we deserve.

It’s time to let go of negative and toxic relationships. It’s time to say “thank u, next” to the boys in our lives who don’t treat us the way we should be treated and love us the way we should be loved. Take a note from the iconic rom-com He’s Just Not That Into You and let go of the boys in your life that aren’t worth it. You don’t deserve someone who half-heartedly works their way through your relationship, or only keeps you around when its convenient for them.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in a relationship for two months or two years – these signs can apply to all stages of a relationship and if you see them in yours, it may be time to end it.

Via Milan Popovic | Unsplash

If it ends up turning out that the guy you’re hooking up with or dating isn’t that into you, it doesn’t reflect on you, so don’t take it personally. You are amazing and you deserve someone who gives you all the world. So realize that you shouldn’t settle for anything less and be courageous in ending the relationship. You’re doing yourself a favor because your time is precious and shouldn’t be wasted.

Here are 7 telltale signs that show he’s actually not that into you:

1. He doesn’t introduce you to his family or friends

This is a huge warning sign. If your boyfriend never brings you to meet his family or friends, or even worse, hasn’t told them about your relationship and you’ve been official for a while, this could show that he is not in it for the long run and doesn’t see the need to bring you into his life.

This subtle sign is called ‘Pocketing’. Basically, it’s when you’re not introduced to your significant other’s family or friends and it shows that they don’t see you as having long-term potential.

2. He never initiates first

One of the easiest things to look for is whether he initiates first, this could be anything from planning dates or literally just texting you first. This is true of pretty much any relationship. If someone wants to see you, they will put in the effort to make it happen – it’s as plain as that. It seems like such a simple thing, but it’s so easy for us to overlook this sometimes and make excuses for why they never initiate first.

So next time instead of texting him first to set your plans, wait to see if he makes the effort to initiate meeting up if you don’t. If someone can’t even put in the minimal effort to send a simple text to make plans, they are really not worth your time.

3. He doesn’t ask questions about you or your life

If someone is interested in something,they will want to know more about it. For instance, if you become super interested in a TV show or movie, you’ll look into it and learn more. The same thing applies to relationships. If he’s interested in you or cares about how you’re doing, he will take the time to ask about your day, your history or about your life.

If he doesn’t show interest in getting to know you and who you are, it’s probably because he isn’t that interested in you. You deserve someone who wants to know all the things that make you, you, and there’s no point in even giving the time of day to someone who doesn’t care about what’s going on in your life.

4. He never takes you out or shows you off

If he’s excited about you, he will show you off, whether it’s on Instagram or around his friends. If he wants you to become a part of his life, he will bring you to everyday things like his friend’s birthday or his family dinner. It’s the same on the flip side too – if he isn’t interested in getting to know your friends or family, it shows that he doesn’t see you as worth investing into, because if he did, he would want to win over the people that are close to you too.

If he never wants to be seen in public with you, that’s a major warning sign and a big no-no. If you’re not dating yet, that low-key might mean you’re just a booty call. You deserve someone who wants to show you off and can’t wait to tell the world that he is with you.

5. He never gives you definite answers and doesn’t prioritize you

If he’s the type of guy who constantly gives a “maybe” or “we’ll see” to plans, this probably means he’s waiting to see if something better could come around. This could mean he’d rather prioritize plans with his friends or maybe even another girl, if you guys aren’t exclusive yet. If they’re into you, they will know that they for sure want to spend time with you so there’s no need for a “maybe”. If they are always unsure about whether they want to make the time for you, they’re not worth your time.

You deserve so much better than someone who sees you as just an option and not a priority. If he’s constantly flaking out on plans, doesn’t put effort into planning hangouts or will make excuses not to see you, it means that you’re not a priority to him so why should he be a priority to you?

6. He doesn’t make the extra effort for you

If someone is into you, they will want to see you happy. Especially in the beginning, if they want you, they will try their best to win you over. If they never go out of their way to show that they care, most likely it’s because they just don’t care. I’m not saying that this person needs to shower you in gifts and take you on fancy trips, but texting you “Good Morning” or making dinner for you at his place are the little things that show he cares.

You deserve someone who will go the extra mile for you. There’s no point in wasting your time and energy on someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. Save it for someone worth your while.

7. He never talks about commitment

If he’s afraid to put a label on your relationship, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to be committed. Maybe they think the relationship is good for now, but they don’t see it as a long-term thing. That’s fine if you also feel the same way, but if you want something more concrete, speak up. If they still won’t give a definitive answer or say they don’t want a relationship but still want to keep you on the hook, it may be time to move on if you want something more serious.

This doesn’t just apply to casual dating, but also long-term relationships. If he’s not able to talk about being committed in the long-run or shies away from talking about the future even after you’ve been together for a while, this could show he’s not as into you as you think.


All in all, remember what you want and go for it. If the person you’re dating isn’t giving you what you want, remember that you’re within your right to ask for what you want to be happy in your relationship! We all deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship.


Culled from Narcity